Listening & Empathic responce P4

3. PLACATING OR FALSELY REASSURING ‎RESPONSE:‎
A third mode of response to a patient’s feelings is a placating or falsely ‎reassuring response. Telling a patient who is facing surgery “Don’t ‎worry, I’m sure your surgery will turn out just fine” may seem to be ‎helpful, but is really conveying in a subtle way that the person ‎‎“shouldn’t” feel upset. ‎
We often use this kind of response to try to get a patient to stop feeling ‎upset or to try to change a patient’s feelings, rather than accepting the ‎feelings as they exist. ‎
This type of response may be used even when the patient is facing a ‎situation of real threat, such as a terminal illness. We may feel helpless in ‎such a situation and use false reassurance to protect ourselves from the ‎emotional involvement of listening and trying to understand the patient’s ‎feelings. Response [e] “I’m sure you just happened to see him when he ‎was having a bad day. I bet if you keep going to him, things will ‎improve.” is a falsely reassuring response that predicts a positive outcome ‎you have no way of knowing will occur.‎
‎4.‎ GENERALIZING RESPONSE
Another way in which we try to reassure patients is by telling them “I’ve ‎been through the same thing and I’ve survived.” While it is comforting to ‎know that others have had similar experiences, this response may take the ‎focus away from the patient experience and onto your own experience ‎before patients have had a chance to talk over their own immediate ‎concerns. It also can lead you to stop listening because you jump to the ‎conclusion that, since you have had an experience similar to the patient’s, ‎the patient is feeling the same way you felt. This may not, of course, be ‎true. Response [f] “I know how you feel. I hate to wait in doctor’s offices, ‎too.” would fit in this category. Response [g] “No one feels that they have
enough time to talk with their doctors.” also indicates that Mr. ‎Raymond’s feelings are not unique or special in any way. The “everyone ‎feels that way” response, again, is meant to make Mr. Raymond feel ‎better about his problem but instead makes him feel that you do not ‎consider his concerns to be very unique or important.‎
‎4.‎ QUIZZING OR PROBING RESPONSE
Another type of response to feelings is a quizzing or probing response. ‎We feel comfortable asking patients questions—we have learned to do ‎this in medication history taking and in consultations with patients on ‎over-the-counter drugs.‎
However, asking questions when the patient has expressed a feeling can ‎take the focus away from the feeling and onto the “content” of the ‎message. It also leads to the expectation that, if enough information is ‎gathered, a solution will be forthcoming.‎
Many human problems or emotional concerns are not so easily ‎‎“solved.” Often patients simply want to be able to express their feelings ‎and know that we understand. Meeting those needs for a “listening ear” is ‎an important part of the helping process. ‎
Asking Mr. Raymond how long he has to wait for an appointment ‎‎(response [h]) does not convey an understanding of the essence of his ‎concern, which was his perception of a lack of caring from his physician.‎
‎5.‎ DISTRACTING RESPONSE
Many times we get out of situations we don’t know how to respond to by ‎simply changing the subject. With response [i] “Let me talk with you ‎about the new prescription you’re getting.” Mr. Raymond gets no ‎indication from you that his concerns have even been heard, let alone ‎understood.‎
‎6.‎ UNDERSTANDING RESPONSE
Contrast each of the other responses to Mr. Raymond with response [j] ‎‎“You seem to feel there’s something missing in your relationship with Dr. ‎Johnson— that there isn’t the caring you would like.” Only in this ‎response is there any indication that you truly understand the basis of Mr. ‎Raymond’s concern. By using such a response, you convey ‎understanding without judging Mr. Raymond as right or wrong, ‎reasonable or unreasonable.‎
The above discussion reviewed different responses that you may ‎make to feeling statements. The following dialogue is an example of a ‎patient–pharmacist communication that may invite quite different ‎reactions from the patient. ‎
The situation involves Mrs. Raymond, who engages the ‎pharmacist, Jeff Brown, in conversation when she picks up a prescription ‎for her husband, George. The patient–pharmacist conversation is in the ‎left column, and an analysis of the conversation is in the right column.‎